


In the Absence of a Place to Be

by misaffection



Category: Farscape
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-06
Updated: 2008-08-06
Packaged: 2017-10-02 21:16:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misaffection/pseuds/misaffection
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Until her transfer to this carrier she had merely recreated, freely and without forming a single attachment. Until she had been assigned to the project to create a hybrid Leviathan. Until she had met Bialar Crais.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Absence of a Place to Be

"Lieutenant."

Darinta Larell looked up for her datapad. Lieutenant Braca stood, his face bland but with something in his eyes that made her swallow. She got to her feet, all too aware of the power this man had.

"Sir?"

"You will come with me." He turned and walked away from her, not even bothering to check that she was following.

Darinta frowned in concern but hurried after him. She was led down the corridor until they were quite alone and then Braca turned back to her.

"Scorpius knows everything," he said flatly.

She blinked at him, all too aware of that truth. A shudder ran through her as she recalled the torture of the Aurora Chair; the pain and the humiliation of having her past broadcast for all to see.

"Yes," she replied, focused on the wall behind him in an attempt to keep her temper

"Crichton has contacted Scorpius with an offer. He has extended immunity; to the human and to Aeryn Sun… and to former captain Crais."

Darinta jolted and her gaze skittered to Braca's face. "He is…" She caught herself, cringing internally at the hope that had coloured her tone. "Why are you telling me this?" she demanded. "I have told you everything I know."

"It is not what you know but whom that will aid us now." He looked her up and down in a suggestive manner. She stiffened, ill and furious at his behaviour, but she dared not say anything. "Scorpius believes Crais has his own agenda. You will use… whatever means possible to discover what those plans are."

"And then?"

Braca arched an eyebrow. "And then? Do not ask for any favours, lieutenant. Your affair with Crais was against regulations, in direct conflict with High Command's directives. However…" He paused and tapped his thumb against his lips. Darinta knew he was only pretending to consider the 'problem'. He smiled at her then. "Scorpius rewards loyalty well. I suggest you remember that."

He brushed past her and walked away. She watched him disappear, and then headed quickly for her own quarters. Once there, she sank trembling onto her bed, her eyes on nothing as she thought desperately.

He was coming back. After two cycles.

Darinta gave a high, almost hysterical laugh and clapped a hand over her mouth. She had to play this calm. What Braca had said… that was an order, but from Scorpius. She shuddered in distaste for the half-breed. He was not her captain. Not the one she was loyal to at any rate.

For the first time in her life, Darinta Larell contemplated subordination.

 

~ ~ ~

The next solar day, she stood in the hanger bay as the Leviathan transporter landed. It took every nerve she had, all her training, to remain at attention when the hatch opened and Scorpius' visitors disembarked.

She could feel his eyes on her throughout Scorpius' greeting speech. They started to move and she stared blindly ahead, hardly able to breathe. Her resolve crumpled as they came closer and she allowed her eyes to shift.

He had not changed. He met her eyes, his expression grave. She saw guilt and sadness in his face, and the anger that had sustained her through the last two cycles evaporated at the sight of it. Then he was past her, and the moment gone.

She wasn't entirely sure how she remained standing. Her stomach turned sickly and she could feel herself shaking. Looking up to where he stood now, she saw Braca lift his head. He stared at her and then dropped his gaze to her captain.

Darinta was not stupid and understood the significance of that; Braca was hardly a subtle man.

 

~ ~ ~

She went from the hanger bay to the officers' lounge. Not a frequent drinker, she still felt better with a couple of raslaks in her stomach; the strong alcohol steady her shattered nerves and strengthening her resolve for the next part of her plan.

Oddly, playing one person against another was a tactic he had taught her. She supposed this would be the test of how well she had learnt it. Grimacing at the irony, she drained the remaining liquid from her cup.

Then she stood and started towards her quarters. Her steps slowed when she saw Braca longing against her door, a cruel smirk on his face.

"Crais wants to see you," he said, cutting straight to the point.

"About?" she replied coolly. She stared at him until he moved grudgingly. She activated the door control and strode past him. It was a dangerous game, but she knew that Scorpius needed her to provide intel and that Braca was currently powerless to do anything to her.

"Scorpius has agreed that Crais can bring the hybrid Leviathan aboard," he said, his distaste for this plan evident in his tone. "He claims you are the most qualified to aid his repairs of the ship."

"I am." That was no false modesty; she was the foremost expert in Leviathan technology. She took off her jacket and tossed it onto the floor, crossing to her clothing closet and removing a clean one. "So… what are my orders?"

"You are to do exactly what Crais wants," Braca said. "Whatever that is."

"But to report afterwards?" she asked in disgust. "Fine. But you do not come to me again. Let me handle Crais as I wish."

Braca smirked again. "I am sure you are most capable at that." His tone was snide and she glared at him. "Report anything to Scorpius," he ordered her. "No matter how insignificant it seems."

"I do know what I am doing lieutenant," she snapped at him. He gave her a look and walked out.

Darinta sagged when the door shut. She did know what she was doing. She hoped.

 

~ ~ ~

She paced up to the door, hesitated, and then crossed back to the opposite side of the corridor. Never in her life had she been so nervous. She berated herself for being foolish, but she could not help it.

But she could not put this off any longer. Talking a deep breath, she strode to the door and accessed the lock. It slid open and she walked in.

He came out of the sleeping area, pausing a little at the sight of her. Heart hammering, Darinta remained stood at attention, eyes fixed past him.

"Lieutenant." His tone was cool, with little inflection.

"Captain," she replied automatically.

"No longer," he dismissed. "What were you told?"

To lie, to cheat, to tell them everything. "Only to assist you as required," she said aloud.

"And are you… displeased with this assignment?" He circled around her and she caught the scent of him. She took a shallow breath to contain the emotions battling for attention and kept her eyes front, averted from him.

"Why would I be?"

"Working with someone who has… lost his command-"

Her resolve broke at that and she looked at him. "Scorpius stole your command," she stated harshly, unable to keep the fury out of her voice. His gaze was steady and she held it defiantly. "I knew he squeezed you out of power!"

He seemed to consider this for a microt. "What else do you know?"

"That even though you left without a word, I never changed my feelings for you." She reached for him then, overwhelmed and kissed him, hard and passionate.

He responded for several microts before pulling away abruptly leaving her holding on desperately to his arms. "Scorpius," she gasped then, throwing caution to hezmana. "He knows about our past. He put me in the Aurora Chair… found out everything. He said if I didn't spy on you he'd destroy me."

He stared down at her. "Why are you telling me this?"

"For the last two cycles I hated you," she confessed unevenly. "It was the only way I could get through it."

His eyes closed briefly and a flicker of pain crossed his face. "It's as I expected," he said in a low voice. "Everyone who knew me would be coerced into spying."

It was probably true. She gazed at him and saw the guarded passion in his dark eyes. Whatever had been between them in the past… he would never fully trust her, not with Scorpius still in command. It hurt more than she thought possible.

"I don't hate you," she murmured.

"I don't hate you either," Bialar replied and pulled her back into his arms.

Darinta flung her arms around his neck, a soft moan escaping her as he kissed her soundly. She had missed him ��" so much she thought she would break. She could clearly remember the anger and hurt when Scorpius declared Bialar a traitor, renegade and irreversibly contaminated.

She wondered whether this made her irreversibly contaminated by association. Perhaps it did. Then again, as his hand slid down her back and into the band of her trousers, she knew she didn't actually care.

Two cycles. It had been far too long.

He backed her up and she watched through a lust-induced haze as he undid the fastener of her jacket. She closed her eyes as those warm, capable hands ran up from her abdomen, over her breasts and onto her shoulders. Her jacket fell to the floor and she flashed him a look.

He grinned and she chuckled. Then she took control and slid her hands from around his neck to undo his jacket. She stripped it from him and tossed it carelessly on top of hers.

There were new scars on his chest and she frowned. She reached out to trace them lightly, giving him a quizzical look.

"What happened?" she murmured.

"It doesn't matter," he replied, his tone dismissive.

"Do they hurt?" she pressed. He pulled her closer, in an obvious attempt to distract her from the marks. "I only ask because I want to know how… if they would affect your… performance."

He arched an eyebrow and a faint smile touched his lips. "Not very much," he said slowly. "Not enough."

"Well…" Darinta reached up and undid the tie that fastened his hair. "I'm confident I can find a way around such a problem."

"You were always very inventive," he remarked with a chuckle.

"You were always impossible," she retorted. "Do you have any idea how much trouble I got into over you?"

He sobered, his expression suddenly grave. "I'm sorry."

She stared at him. Then she put a hand to his forehead. "Are you quite well?" she queried in disbelief. "You just apologised…"

"That is not funny." He pulled her hand down, but then kissed the palm before giving her a level look. "I am sorry. For everything."

Darinta was taken aback; the Bialar Crais she had known two cycles ago would never have admitted to being at fault, never mind apologise for such a thing. He had changed and, as she gazed at him now, she could see it in his eyes.

"Well…" She fumbled for words, not sure what to say. "Then I forgive you."

Deciding that things were getting far too serious, she swept her hands over his chest and then dropped them to the fastening of his trousers. He caressed her shoulders and back as she undid them and pushed the material down over his hips.

"Wait," he ordered then, his voice rough.

She stopped, her breathing rapid as she forced herself to stillness when all she wanted… Her thoughts ground to a halt when he stepped away and let the trousers drop. A low hiss escaped her at the sight of him and he shot her a grin as he sat on the bed.

He made her wait; taking his time in undoing the laces of his boots. She knotted her hands into fists, need a burning hunger in her stomach. When she realised he was teasing her, she felt a surge of annoyance.

"Bialar," she said warningly. It was a tone no one else would ever think of using on him, but they had been together over three cycles before he had left and she knew him as no other person did.

However that went both ways. He held out one imperious hand. "Come here."

She hastened to obey and he chuckled at her eagerness. She swatted one broad shoulder lightly, then shoved him backwards and straddled his thighs. "You," she murmured and kissed him briefly. "Are impossible and arrogant. And frell but I have missed you."

"Likewise," he replied.

Darinta wasn't entirely sure she believed that, but opted against pursuing it. Until her transfer to this carrier she had merely recreated, freely and without forming a single attachment. Until she had been assigned to the project to create a hybrid Leviathan. Until she had met Bialar Crais.

She trailed kisses over his chest, mindful of the wounds that marred his skin. He moaned softly at her ministrations and she smiled slightly. At least some things had not changed.

Her confidence somewhat restored by that little revelation, Darinta slid off the bed and quickly disposed of her own boots and trousers. He shifted on the bed to a more comfortable position and she hurriedly rejoined him.

It was curious how quickly they fell back into the usual play of control. Three cycles ago she had been surprised at how easily he relinquished command, that he allowed her to direct their couplings, until she had realised that he gained certain advantages by adopting a submissive posture.

Such as it gave him a good view of her body. She watched him as she sank down onto his erection, taking in the slightly smug grin, the mischievous glitter of his dark eyes and the lascivious way he ogled her unabashedly.

Laughing darkly, Darinta leant forward to kiss him soundly. His arms wrapped around her and for a microt she simply revelled in that tight embrace. Then she pulled away to sit up again, pushing his hands down to her hips.

She rocked her hips rhythmically, her actions somewhere between that which had been bred into her and older, more primal knowledge. Two cycles of tension wound inside her and she ground down, eliciting a moan from both of them.

"Bialar," she groaned, choking slightly as a surge of emotion sideswiped her. Frell it all, she could not break now, but her frantic attempt to smother it was too late and all of a sudden she was sobbing helplessly.

He pushed down, rolling her effortlessly. A hand ran gently over her head and he made a soft, soothing noise and then kissed her. She clung and one kiss became more. His hands drifted down and she closed her eyes as he re-explored her body with tender caresses.

Eventually she forgot why she had been crying.

 

~ ~ ~

Later, they lay in each other's arms in the muted light of his quarters. Thoroughly satisfied and content in the afterglow, Darinta wondered what happened now. She knew full well he was aware of her possible duplicity.

"So… now what?"

Bialar gave a sigh. "I have to ask you to carry on," he said in a low voice. She twisted and looked at him. He cupped her face, his eyes intent on hers. "You must give Scorpius no reason to doubt your loyalty."

"My loyalty is to you," she said firmly.

"He is your captain," he argued.

"I don't care." She was angry and felt hopeless at what was an impossible situation.

"You should," he said evenly. "Please, Darinta. Do not risk your career, your life, on my account."

She chewed at her bottom lip. "Do you trust me?"

"Darinta…"

"Answer the frelling question Bialar."

"Not entirely," he admitted.

She nodded sagely. "Don't," she said then, feeling the tears threaten again. "Because I have to tell… them everything. And I cannot hope… Scorpius put me in the Chair once and…" She shuddered violently and he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I know," he said darkly.

"Afterwards… do you plan on staying? Or will you… go?"

He sighed. "I have made no plans."

"If you do… make plans, that is… include me?"

She looked at him pleadingly. She would not - could not - put it any clearer, but he had to know what she meant. He gazed at her for a microt… and then nodded slightly.

"If I can," he said softly.

Darinta laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes. It was not much of a promise, but it was the only one he could make. It would just have to be enough.


End file.
